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RIT Rings

by Neil Demoney
  
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Tuesday, 9:23 p.m.
My professor just gave us a break and I went to Crossroads to get my roast beef sandwich and when I returned we were watching a clip of cows and dogs being butchered and I lost my lunch all over.

Sunday, 7:49 p.m.
I was reading you last week and I saw that thing about the Obama speech and it sounding like they were chanting, “Yankees suck,” and, well, that’s because they do suck. Big giant balls.

Saturday, 9:59 p.m.
Slow people on the Quarter Mile suck. Slow people on the bus suck even more. I really just want to hit someone in the back of the head.

Friday, 10:55 p.m.
This is Barack Obama. Can you tell my roommate to flush the toilet in the bathroom and pick his condom wrappers off the floor? Thank you.

Saturday, 1:29 a.m.
I just wanted everyone to know that a Boylan’s Rootbeer is $2.50 at lovin’ cup while it’s only $1.00 at Wegmans. That’s like a um... 150% increase. That ridiculous. I mean, it’s as bad as the Corner Store.

Monday, 10:40 p.m.
Hey RIT rings, calling back again. In my room again. I’m here with my friend [the skipper]. He’s reading PostSecret. I think he’s dying now. Anyway just calling to leave a message. I’ll call back later. Holla.

Sunday, 7:53 p.m.
I was, like, talking to this guy on my floor, and he fell in love with this girl over Smash Brothers . I was wondering how I could help him get over it, because he thinks if you meet a girl playing Smash Brothers, they want to [make whoopie with] you. Thanks!

Saturday, 11:18 p.m.
It’s 11:19 in the morning. I called last night because there was a fire alarm in our building yesterday and we’re standing outside in the rain and it really sucks. It would brighten our day if you put it in the Reporter.

Friday, 11:00 p.m.
I’m in Gleason and I just got on the elevator and someone mooned me.

Tuesday, 6:17 p.m.
I’m wondering why RIT is trying to make us think they are making it more green when they are getting rid of the grass in the back. They aren’t making it more green, they are just moving the green.

Call 585.672.4840

All calls subject to editing and truncation. Not all calls will be run. Reporter reserves the right to publish all calls in any format.


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In This Issue
News
A Rocky Future for Rocky Horror
Where is Wolf?
RIT Forecast
SG Updates
Leisure
6 Days in Hell
Yung Joc and Cartel
Improvamonium Pandemonium
Raymond Kurzweil
Spill It
Review: The Gaslight Anthem & Metallica
Review: Rock Band 2 for Xbox 360
At Your Leisure
Features
Get a Job
Sports
Women's Volleyball in Third at RIT Invitational
Womens' Tennis
Views
Tech Commentary: Phobia does not Compute
Writing Contest Winner
Word on the Street
RIT Rings
Editorial
Editor's Note: Dreaming of the Future
Letters to the Editor
Corrections
 
Review: Outliers
Malcolm Gladwell analyzes the people who excel.
 
 

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