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RIT Rings

by Neil Demoney
  
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Wednesday 6:44 a.m.
Holy [cow chips], Rings. It should not take me 50 minutes to sign up for my [gosh darn] classes, when I have an 8 a.m. class. I want to go to bed. Ugh...

Monday, 1:48 p.m.
I think RIT is actually having a genocide of fallen leaves. As soon as I see one hit the ground, [truckin’] FMS is there with a truck and four guys with leaf blowers. It’s just ridiculous.

Monday, 6:19 p.m.
I just ate M&M’s out of my girlfriend’s [porcupine]. What did you do today?

Saturday, 7:49 p.m.
I’m driving on that bend between Gracies and the business school and I see campo with their lights off. I want to pull them over for being [very harsh expletive] retarded.

Thursday 6:14 p.m.
Since when does the RITz Sports zone start playing Michael Bublé in the middle of the [harsh expletive] day when I’m trying to watch Sports Zone?

Monday 6:40 a.m.
I would really just like to express my dislike for the RIT InfoCenter. I’m finding very little in the way of info and it is certainly not bringing me center. Why are you not all up on this, Rings? Fix this now.

Monday, 6:13 a.m.
Right now I’m trying to log onto this [mother truckin’] InfoCenter to register for my classes. And you know what InfoCenter is? A real [derriére aperture]. So um… maybe at this [Zeus darn] technological school we could do something about that.

Wednesday, 4:28 p.m.
Hi Rings, I just wondered something. It’s cold, but do you ever get cold? I know that you’re cold and impersonal because you never return calls. But do you ever get cold? It’s just something I’ve been wondering.

Monday 10:57 a.m.
I love you and we’re sitting here being awesome. It’s girl’s night and we just thought we’d call you because we love you. Everybody say, “Hi.” Hello... Yeah, they say, “Hi,” but they’re being shy. Bye.

Saturday 1:58 a.m.
I just wanted to let you know that everything is really close to you when you’re drunk and that’s courtesy of my friend [Duncan]. Thanks, bye.

Saturday, 1:28 a.m.
Who the hell is that [inappropriate to say about someone, cleaning method] kid that keeps [effin’] parking in handicap in S Lot? Every other day it’s this pimped out Audi. It’s [horse chips].

Call 585.672.4840

All calls subject to editing and truncation. Not all calls will be run. Reporter reserves the right to publish all calls in any format.


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In This Issue
News
Bell Hall Renamed
Board Holds West Coast Meeting
New Majors at RIT
RIT Forecast
SG Update
Leisure
Terrifying Creatures
This is Halloween
Acapelloween
Review: Zack and Miri Make a Porno
Review: Of Montreal
Review: On/Off
At Your Leisure
Spill It
Features
Something Wicca This Way Comes
The Medical Mysteries of Dr. William M Moran
Sports
Danse Macabre
RIT Equestrian, October 25
Views
Don’t Vote: The Uselessness of Voting
Go Out and Vote
Word on the Street
RIT Rings
Editorial
Editor's Note: A Good Scare
Letters to the Editor
 
Review: Outliers
Malcolm Gladwell analyzes the people who excel.
 
 

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