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At Your Leisure

by John Howard
  
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Nate Rotunno

Stream of Facts

100 meters beneath the surface of the earth, straddling the France-Swiss border, CERN (European Organization for Nuclear Research) is performing its final tests on the world’s largest particle accelerator. Once the tests are complete, and the accelerator (also known as the Large Hadron Collider, or LHC) is synchronized, the FIRST beam will be launched, using a 2,000-ton electromagnet that will produce energies comparable to those present during the Big Bang.

Des Plaines, Illinois was the site of the FIRST McDonald’s restaurant. In 1954, Ray Kroc, recent investor and sole distributor of a milkshake mixer known as the Multimixer, was impressed by the speedy service of Dick and Mac McDonald’s hamburger stand. Kroc convinced the McDonald brothers to go public and open more stores so that he could, in turn, sell them more Multimixers. What started out as a sales pitch for his MILK product machines, became the 62.13-a-share corporation of yellow arches that spans the globe today.

Actors snorted powdered MILK in the cocaine scenes in the film Blow, starring Johnny Depp and Penelope Cruz, based on the book by Bruce Porter about the true life of drug entrepreneur, George Young. The last line of the film, “There are no more WHITE horses or pretty ladies at my door,” is a reference to the song Lucky Man by the classic rock band Emerson, Lake & Palmer.

If you have a goldfish in your dorm room this year and it happens to turn WHITE on you, don’t freak out. It’s probably because you have your shades pulled down. Goldfish, along with many other scaled animals, change color in response to sunlight levels. Fish produce their pigment through cells known as chromatophores; the same cells that enable chameleons to change color.

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Subscriptions as gifts. Do you have a sibling, cousin, or neighbor whom you don’t particularly know a lot about, but has birthday coming up? Are you panicked, with beads of sweat beginning to run down your forehead as you surf Amazon and ebay for a miracle? Relax, friends; we’ve got you covered. You’re one click away from the easiest cop-out gift solution ever. Remember that New Yorker you think you saw on their table a couple years back? Maybe it was Rolling Stone, or even Time. Whatever the case, you’ve found your antidote. (Really, don’t worry if you can’t remember if it was Cosmopolitan or Consumer Reports; they’ll probably like it either way.) You can even go a step further and run out for the latest edition to give to them on their special day as a forecast of their fabulous year of subscriptions to come. It’ll really show you care. Or, another route is to just send them a Reporter every week and fake a subscription. Just don’t tell them it was free.



Overseen and Overheard at RIT

Have you ever been walking on campus and heard or saw something that made you do a double-take? You say to your friend next to you in awe, “Did that really just happen?” Well, chances are it did, and chances are it’ll end up here, in Overseen and Overheard, a dumping ground for all those embarrassing moments you wish you could forget, published weekly for the entertainment of everyone else. So be careful, everyone. You never know when we could be watching.

Quote

“Surrender had played out for good with me.”
Jesse James

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In This Issue
News
Public Safety Buys "Unmarked" Patrol Vehicle
Parking Regulations Tighten Up
RIT Forecast
Leisure
Park Point
Deep Economy
Leisure (Cont.)
At Your Leisure
Views
Tech Commentary: Strolling in the Cloud
Spill It
RIT Rings
Editorial
Editor's Note: Downtime

TOP ARTICLES

Review: Zack and Miri Make a Porno
A must-see sex comedy.
RIT Rings
Press Play: Jack Swift
Also considered: Ben and The Professas.
 
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