Thursday, 10:49 a.m.
I just completely Daniel Radcliffe-D my whole floor in the
NRH elevator. I think they were pretty pleased with what
they saw. “That boy is packin’ and uncut. That’s a rare gem
these days.” Oh no... I think Campus Safety is coming for me.
Saturday, 3:45 p.m.
Hey there RIT Rings. I was just informed
by one of my friends that as a
twelve year old he [stuck] a sock’em
bopper. I just thought I should share
this information.
Friday, 1:32 a.m.
Rings, I’m very disappointed in you. I
just picked up the new issue of reporter
and you weren’t in it. You’re
pretty much the only reason i pick up
that little magazine. I miss you!
Sunday, 3:47 p.m.
Hey RIT Rings! Quick question. Have you ever
seen the movie What Dreams May Come? Because it
looked pretty cool but it was a pretty [chitty] movie.
I mean the plot just fell apart at the end. However,
its depiction of Heaven was pretty gorgeous. Do
you agree, Rings? Hello... hello... where’d you go?
Saturday, 1:28 a.m.
Um, everyone thinks that
I’m not a virgin because I
use the super jumbo tampons,
but I can’t help it
that I have a heavy flow
and a wide-sized vagina. I
just wish everyone would
stop making fun of me.
Sunday, 1:34 a.m.
So basically I was looking at the Beard on the
Street, and I was like, “Why the hell would
you do eight guys in the thing?” I mean, come
on... guys only read your magazine to see girls.
Then I turned the magazine over and saw eight
girls and it was awesome. Thanks, bye.
Saturday, 11:04 a.m.
Hey Rings, I just wanted to say that I
walked by some protesters standing
by a Marines booth up in the SAU. I just
want to tell those people that if you hate
America that much then get the [harsh
word] out. Where are you in this
week's Reporter, Rings? You’re cheating
on me again, aren't you?
